> was that your first session after a break over christmas / new year? i might be confused (if so i'm sorry)...

doh! read the title alex lol.

goodo. i wanted to say this but i wanted to check that it was your first session after a break first...

that was really amazing that your t was sensitive to your being fragile / hurting after having a break from seeing her. i wonder... if my t will be expecting the same... because to tell you the honest truth... i really should try... to talk a bit about my feelings next time. last time (just before the break) i think he realised that i don't feel like i have a family and hence christmas / new year is a really hard time for me (their being family oriented holidays and all). i think he just realised, he didn't know before... and he kept saying 'and you feel sad' and i would just ignore him and talk about something slightly different (what i thought about something or other) and he would keep saying 'and you feel sad' and i was determined not to.

not before christmas for him. i didn't want to be more of a kill joy than i already am :-(

but yeah... i've been down a lot over the last couple of weeks. thinking about my dad leaving... and about how i don't have a family... and about how i'm not %#@&#! impressed that he takes time of seeing me to spend time with people he actually cares about. oops. thats not the best way of seeing it... dammit... yeah, i'm gonna try and be as brave as you.

well done mouse.

(apparantly the pain does receed... eventually... like how if you have ever lost a childhood pet. seems like the end of the world for a time. hurts a lot for a while. hurts a bit... always. but doesn't occur to you as often).