For the past three years I have been without a situation that would lead me to think that self injury is a solution to my problems. But here in the past couple of weeks I have had a string of bad luck, some I've brought upon myself and some has been brought upon me. For starters, my mother has been in a bit of distress not having a home to call her own and what not. And I do not have a bed for her to sleep on, nor food for her to eat. And when I attempted to at least comfort her and say I love her. She told me that I do not mean it and that I shouldn't even say it. Secondly, my fathers health continues to grow worse. I fear that in the next few months he might not be around anymore. I have not had a relationship with him in the past five years since I left his home. My sister who I have always felt the closest to in my family, doesn't talk to me anymore ever since I have came clean to her about my addiction to street drugs and alcohol almost a month ago. I wonder if she'll ever forgive me for lying to her these past three years. No one else in my family seems to have any bit of compassion towards me. And the last bit of misfortune in my life right now is without a doubt all on me. I was under the influence of alcohol and I made out with my best friends girl. I haven't told him yet. And I fear he might never want to see me again. I don't want that to happen. He is the best friend I have ever had and think I will ever have.

But no matter how unfortunate those events are, that is not the reason I am writing. As I write this, I have just broken my streak of being free of self injury. And I ask for help of anyone as to not make this a habit again. By the looks of it, I think I might start up frequently. I know it's not a good solution to my problems. But, it's the only thing that makes me feel better besides drugs and alcohol. And I am not ready to go down that road. So, please. Any help you could offer would be greatly appreciated right now. Thank you for reading.