Hello MusicLover79-I can empathize with what you are feeling but I know that you are NOT bad or stupid. You feel bad and you feel stupid and that can make us believe that we are, therefore, those things. As Useless Me wrote, you do not deserve self-harm. You deserve love and compassion. I know that if feels as if our lot in life is to suffer and it can be so hard to find our bliss when we are in the middle of debilitating pain-but keep looking. It may be something that is right in front of you, your purpose, but you can't see it because the pain makes it hard to see clearly. You are not alone. No matter if you can see what your purpose is right now, you deserve to be here and you deserve to be treated with kindness.