Rainbow - I have definitely felt this way. At times, I want to be just like T, or at least how I imagine T to be. I want to have her "perfect" life, I want to be as kind and caring as she is, I want to like the things she likes, I want to be motivated like she is, to be comfortable with myself. I recognize that I idolize her and that it isn't the healthiest, but that's where I am right now. I think identifying it and describing it is helpful.
I don't have a really good sense of self, so I think that's part of why I'm looking for others to emulate. It's really hard to create "me," but something I do want to work on.
Thanks for bringing this topic up, Rainbow.