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Hi I am writing in a forum for the first time. The reason I am here is to find answers to some questions I have and hopefully that will help me to a better and healthier future. I am in a very toxic relationship and I don’t know how to get out.
I find myself in a very complicated situation, I am in an almost two year relationship with my boyfriend. In the second year of us being together I realized that he has a serious drinking problem, he had it all along its just I did not know about it or was not so apparent to me. When we started to leave together is when I realized that this was going on.
I have dealt with a lot during these two years. His ex-wife, he has used me to hurt his ex-wife’s feelings and the opposite he has used her to hurt me, he has called his ex to even get advice on some problems we have had in our relationship, his two year old daughter, lies, stealing from me, deception, not being able to keep a job, I am the soul provider and pay all the bills. His emotional and verbal abuse, at times I have had to leave my own apartment because I was afraid of him, his violence is getting worse.
Just recently his ex-wife had contacted me and told me that he had send her inappropriate text messages, complimenting her on how good she looked, and her boyfriend was an idiot for letting her go. He had said other things to her that I will hold off sharing because of the content of them. When I heard that I was really hurt. I know of other instances that he had looked her up on google and found pictures of her on FB, send her text messages pretending as he is sending them to family member telling them how happy he was with me, and then apologize to her as ohh sorry send the message to the wrong person.
I feel like I am in such a fog of emotions and I can’t get out …. I am hurt and very tired.
Of course he is not owning up to some of the things that had happened. The text he had send her it was not a sexual harassment he was just trying to be nice to her since he was behind on child support. He has also looked her up on the internet, and found pictures of her by the pool and us accidentally showing up to her apartment complex at the pool the following weekend, where she was with her daughter. He is swearing that was a coincidence and he had no idea she leaved there. I was just wondering why we stopped there in a first place. We were not looking for a new apartment we were on the way home from a lunch date.
I have a feeling that he is still hung up on his ex-wife, and I am starting to not believe anything he tells me any more … all the little sweet nothings like ohhh you are the love of my life, I tattooed your name on my chest and we are going to be together forever, I have never loved anyone like you.
I am kind of thinking if I had it made like he does I would not go anywhere ether.
Please share your thoughts on this situation
Sincerely,
D
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