It's not the fact that she plays with the phone that is at issue now. It's her attitude toward a reasonable request that she ****ing PAY ATTENTION the way she is supposed to. Her blaming you for the fact that it distracts you and that it bothers you that she is unwilling to stop when she is supposed to be ****ing PAYING ATTENTION anyway is a giant red flag. Blaming you or saying that you need to get over being bothered by this is simply unacceptable (to me, in my opinion, others' opinions may differ).