Quote:
Originally Posted by jadzea
What was she like before she got into med school. Did she always fight dirty and say mean things? Med school is very stressful. Her emotional state will only get worse while she does her internship and residency. It will be as hard on you as it is on her.
She can contain her applications for her training after school to one area where you can get a place to live and you can keep a job. Unless she wants some very elite speciality she does not have to hop all over the country to complete her education. I think both of you need to start thinking about "us" and not so much about "her".
If she had to would she choose staying with you or breaaking up if needed to furthere her education? The answer to that questions should tell you how she feels.
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She was a lot worst before she started med school recently. Thats why we broke up the first time around 3 years ago. We were actually living together and I just couldn't take it anymore and literally packed all my things and left.
I do love her but sometimes I wonder if the main reason I got back was because I saw how helpless and distraught she was after we had just broken up for a month. Sometimes I contemplate on that and it only makes the situation worst.
I understand that med school is stressful, but the way she handles it is very poorly. I got to admit that the frequency of fights and outburst of anger has significantly lessened but the severity of the fights are still just as horrible.
Going back why I got up and left 3 years ago was because she was studing for MCATs and was literally stressed out with her school and studying. She graduated from Stanford in the top 10 percent so you can see how much of a studious person she is. Anyhow, she basically would study all day, while I worked 60-70 hours a week, cooked, cleaned (did all chores-no exaggeration here because she was busy studying). Yet she would complain about me not wanting to spend time with her when she was free...honestly I was tired and exhausted, and I had to work certain weekends so I didn't have the luxury to just drop everything to be with her.
Well I still managed to trust her and love her enough to give it another shot which showed things improved. Honestly I always blamed myself for walking out 3 years ago, I felt I was the "bad guy" for doing that and basically abandoning her. Fast forward 2 years and we got engaged last December.
I honestly believe her school is her top priority. We always discussed this and I said I would understand. But I guess until you experience it you actually end up feeling this is really tough. I also told her I understand being long distance and we can work out careers and still commit to each other. She says this time around she can't do long distance anymore that she needs me around for support.
If it truly came down to me or her pursuing her dreams she would pick her education and career. She worked so hard to get to where she is at and she is a determined woman.
I guess this is where I need to be in control of myself and stop being so idiotic. My mind always tells me to learn to brave and give up because its for the best, but my heart always trumps it all.
Thank you for response and reading my problems.
