I often wonder how can I think of marrying him. How can he be a stellar husband when he hasn't been a stellar bf!! I can forgive but can I forget enough to move past it? He has thrown women in my face b/c he knew it would hurt me b/c I was cheated on in other relationships. That doesn't excuse his behavior to play dirty. We argued & sure we both said some cruel things that I regret but I did not seek out another man. I want to look through his cell fone to see if he's being honest now & if I'm really the only one.

He's very jealous & has even gotten jealous when I would speak to an old man at the train station who only wanted a friend to talk to. My bf would accuse me of wanting to be with my old 75 yr old friend! I didn't know where that accusation was coming from & thought it was ridiculous but he has even brought that up an an excuse for his infidelities.