NTN, does everyone in your family drink? I'm wondering why the alcohol "stash" is kept in the garage ... hiding it? or just not enough room inside?

By your age I was a seasoned alcoholic. Addiction runs in both sides of my family. It was a family secret, though--although many no doubt sincerely believed they drank more or less normally.

I'm not saying you and your mom are alcoholics, but it sounds as if you may both have real, medical drinking problems. Your mom wasn't being protective when she produced that bottle--she was enabling you. Probably you are helping each other continue drinking, lessening any negative consequences as much as possible (e.g., making excuses for absences).

You sound concerned about your drinking--any reason to think your mom is, too? Have you ever talked about it?

I don't think this is something you can handle alone. If you have a primary care doctor you're comfortable with, you might start there. Self-help groups such as AA abound, but be careful ... avoid groups "owned" by a small, tight group or a single, charismatic leader. PsychCentral has a lot of information and resources available.

I had respiratory problems as a baby & got the old country remedy of 1/4 baby aspirin dissolved in 1/2 tsp of Good Kentucky Bourbon. I was included every holiday in a drink for toasting. When menstrual cramps hit, I was dosed with special, homemade wine (20% at least!)

By the time I was your age, I could hold my liquor--I had the genes and the breeding. When I was 35, I finally signed myself into alcohol rehab for 6 wks. It was a daily battle, but when I was 47 I had a drink and felt like my innards were on fire and burning their way out. When I didn't die, I decided to live sober. That was 20 yrs ago last March. I still wage some daily campaigns, but it's all worth the fight.

A long story ...
And I hope you have a long story, a long and contented life, a long and loving relationship with your mom. Please, NTN, find help your can stay with.

Roadie