I have been married for 10 years and this year my husband came out and told me he was sexually attracted to a close friend of mine. We were planning on co-housing with her (we live in a very congested city) and he wanted to tell me before we made any further moves. I was very upset but tried not to let myself get angry. I have been diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and have signs of Borderline Personality Disorder. This event prompted me to have panic attacks mostly because the whole co-housing idea was his, and I felt betrayed. We have been trying to work everything out because I accept the fact that attraction and fantasy are human nature. My husband began having issues with erectile dysfunction shortly before this and blamed his behavior on this. He has been sick and has been taking lots of medicine so the issue continues although it is improving. Since this my husband constantly fantasizes about me having sex with other men, us having a threesome, him having a "freebie," etc. Normal sex is not an option anymore, at least in the short-term. We have been talking more openly about people we are attracted to and fantasies but he tells me that sometimes he regrets me being his only lover (we met in high school). All of this is so emotional for me and am having a hard time dealing with it. He loves me but when I tell him I am uncomfortable with threesomes or freebies he gets quiet. He just wants me to approve all this and be okay. I have expressed how uncomfortable I am about opening our relationship but when we start having sex he brings up wishing he could see me in a porn. I want out of this situation but we have two kids and I am not financially independent. I don't know what to do anymore and am wondering if I am over-reacting. In addition, I don't trust my friend anymore for certain reasons. I want to stop being friend with her, but since she is going through a messy divorce, I have not been able to. Also our kids are friends. So I guess I need advice on my situation with her too. Feeling very self-conscious, partially disgusted, and tired of thinking about it.