Hi Rainbow,
Yes, I am still working with this T. Still very attracted to her, but the intensity or urgency to be with her is a bit less. I think part of it is just that time has passed and my mood is ever-so-slightly more stable. Reading and posting here has also been a huge support. I've been comprehending that T is pretty much the only consistent person in my life (outside family) and that one day when I have relationships with other people, this attraction may decrease.

I've also drastically decreased my emailing T. It seemed like no matter what, she would always reply to at least something I said (which I admit I aimed for and made it difficult for her) and I think that was making me want to be with her even more. So I bit the bullet and have really been limiting the emailing. I do think about her a lot though, and this issue with idolizing her, and often wonder whether she is truly the best T for me. But I do this with other people too, so I'd likely do the same with another T. For right now, I'm staying with her. I don't think I'm at all stable enough to terminate. We do good work, and we both recognize the attraction thing, so it's not like I feel like I'm hiding something from her - if it becomes too much, I'll bring it up again. It would be great if she didn't wear a certain pair of boots though, ha! I'm guessing the fact that you have a "deadline" with T makes things really difficult. It's like you need to fit in everything and anything before time is up. Have you talked about this with T? I think you mentioned you had. I wish I had some ideas on how to make that easier, but right now I've just got hugs for you.