Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
The part that struck a chord with me is the fighting dirty and the fact that you're on the brink or feel like it, of breaking up every time you fight. It sounds so similar to the 13+ yr marriage/relationship I had with my ex. The threat of divorce came up invariably with every fight that was anything more than a mild disagreement. I lived in fear that this would be the last time, that this would be the fight that she actually leaves. I gave up a lot for the marriage, to keep it together, to keep her happy and I submitted way too much. I feel like it was her way to manipulate me to backing down in the argument and just give in to her..
In the end, she did leave anyway and I don't think there was anything I could have done to keep that from being the end result.
I can't say this is happening to you nor if this is the outcome of your relationship but I think it's notable enough, the similarities, that It was worth mentioning.
I hope it at least gives you some insight.
At the very least, before you tie the knot, please get pre-marital counseling.  |
The interesting thing about all this even though she may time to time threaten to leave me she always apologizes and wants to stay together. But that fear she creates is what drives me crazy and sad and frustrated...all together.
So even when she threatens to leave, or tells me to be happy and leave...I never leave
Thank you very much and you are right that if we do decide to move forward, we should see pre-martial counseling. Unfortunately she is so overwhelmed with her academics that I am not sure when we could ever have any time to go through any therapy. She is barely able to talk to me 5-10 minutes a day.
I definitley know I don't want to marry her until we sort this out despite we are engaged at the moment. I want to start the next chapter of our lives in the best position possible and not filled with so much anger, frustration, and doubt.