Hello Candy. One of the main reasons not to start with the lighter is you will just be substituting the lighter for the cutting. You have come very far and you do not want to sabotage your recovery with the lighter. You are a very good example to others here at PC and I feel that you know that you are needed here by cutters and people who self injure. You are becoming more aware of your problems and becoming a more productive person because of your self awareness of your disorder. Your voice and participation on PC as a positive motivator makes a difference to someone in need who needs a positive outlook that you may be able to provide from your own experiences. I hope the best for you Candy take care Soidhonia.