I think there are two things happening; you have to want to tell this person, whatever, and it's like the dance of silence/talking and when to talk and when not to. My T and I discussed that one; she explained how she/T's have to decide when to intervene/talk and when to stay silent, have to figure out what the "silence" is all about. I think the thinking one thing/saying another is similar. I imagine you did that to someone during your upbringing, tried to disguise your thoughts/feelings so they wouldn't/couldn't cross your boundaries? So it's a habit that isn't appropriate anymore as you want to be known by your T (I hope :-) and let him know what you think/feel. If you do want to be different, then you do need to bring up this problem with your T and discuss it as you have with us, however "hard" it is. Just saying, "I can't talk right" or "I'm having trouble telling you" would be a good beginning instead of saying something "wrong" like "I don't know." At one point my T outlawed my waying "I don't know" so I wasn't "allowed" to say it but had to dig and find a truer answer. Maybe you could make such a law for yourself? (The one and only law I made for myself was I was not allowed to assume the fetal position either literally or figuratively/emotionally, had to keep "talking" no matter how painful/difficult it was. I pictured it all like I was a mine sweep/ice breaker and had to keep the shipping lanes open between my T and myself :-)