Thanks all... I'm sorry.
Ai... I feel horrible. Weak and shaky... never feel shaky... maybe because I only got 3 hours of sleep last night and have been super-stressed. I don't want to deal with this... so tempted to run... not that I have anywhere to really run to, so that'd end everything real quick.
Went today. The program's ok, the staff seem good, seeing the difference between this psychiatrist and the one I saw 4 weeks ago makes me think the first just wanted me out of there. But these people seem nice, and competent. But I don't believe it'll help. Just stalling... that's all. Still very suicidal, although I have too much to do tonight to keep me from plotting. The staff were very concerned about my thoughts, but didn't go after in-patient care because I can promise to call their line before doing anything. Problem is, I'd probably wait until I was in place with everything waiting before making the call... but it doesn't matter. I need out... this is too hard. :-\

<font color=green>____________________________
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.</font color=green> Sounds good...