Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
After all you've been through and how you've pulled yourself together, in spite of the latest loss of your job, I think that you deserve better. he is causing grief and turmoil in your life now and it's not right.
I don't care that he's the father of your children. He's manipulating you with guilt to let him stay there but the fact is you're not married and heck he even has a gf in another state! If you were together, sure, you should live together for your kids but considering he's not your partner as a husband or bf even, he should NOT be living there. It's not YOUR responsibility to take care of his shelter at all.
In addition think about this. One might argue that it's good that both parents live under the same roof but I will say this. Only if they are actually a couple otherwise no. Waht kind of confusing picture do you think you paint for your kids by housing their father, even though, by every definitiion is someone else's significant other? It's like you're condoning cheating -- in their eyes of course-- because they see mom and dad but "dad has a girlfriend somewhere". it's not a good thing.
I think you should boot his butt out and get your life in order once again. You've proven you can already! I think honestly you can attribute some of the reasons you've succeeded in the past is because you WEREN'T attached to him! I don't know all the details but from the short bit I know I am gonna guess that he's a big part of the chaos in your life.
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This is the thing when I lost my job due to ongoing illness (have fought my wholelife with depression,anxiety,migraines the list goes on)always had decent jobs and pushed myself very hard to be there and be a good worker, When ex arrived this time I think I had my head in lala land or something.I actually made things worse by asking him to move in.
When I lost my job and was unable to find anything while on unemployment we were all getting along fine (kids are adults now, our son and his wife and grandkids,live upstairs) I was happy he could make up for some lost time with his children and he was so much different.
Now we are at the point where my medical situation is worse and I have no Income so he is paying 50% of rent and other bills which I appreciate, I just wished he would have waited till he was out of here before he started a new relationship, It hurts me because I do not know what I did and I have told him above all his children and grand children should be #1 . He is a hard worker and helps so this is why I am hard on myself ! I need to get over the fact that he will never be with me. Yes I love him and thats OK but I am so hurt,raw, lonley and disgusted with myself right now every day I feel like why did I wake up! then I look around I see my babies and grandbabies even my cats and I know I have at least 50 million or more heartbeats just for them, so I don't think its all my fault I just dont know what the F to do while I am waiting for damn disability payments tokick in.
I need to pick myself up WHY IS IT SO HARD