Well I dont kno if anyone else has a issue withthis. But I thought I would throw it out there. I am 36 soon to be 37 next month and Ive had sereval Boyfriends in and out of my life some good some really not so good.

I problem is I guesss I draw not the greatest guys into my life and it seems like all of them that I have had in my life do not understand me. Maybe Im not giving them the chance and proly harder on myself then they are and I tend to Push them away as soon as I think things are going TOO GOOD and I convince myself that I kno something is gonna go wrong and I dont want to be there for it so I ditch the guy.

I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life but its looking like I will be. Guys scared me or maybe I should say I scare myself becuz I dont want to them know what really goes on inside of me in fear that they will pick up and leave. Crazy I know.

I tend to hurt them before they get a chance to hurt me. then after they are gone i regret it. I dont give guys a chance to get to know the real me anyways. The one that struggles daily with self image issues the one that sits in front of a plate of food and numbers go through the head.

Sorry rambling now.

Melissa