Quote:
Originally Posted by bronzeowl
I was bullied in elementary school. I can't even remember most of my middle school years because of my so called 'friend'. My mom tells me, though, that they were bad. So, I figure she's probably right. High school was so-so. With students, anyway. I wasn't as heavily bullied there, and I managed to make some friends. But the staff didn't like me much. History of depression and self harm and all that. When me and that so called friend got in a fight.. both of us had initiated it, both of us had to be pulled apart. And yet, I was the only one to get expelled. Go figure. No surprise there. My mom wanted to fight it. I said no. I cannot, for the life of me, remember why I would have said no. I do remember, though, trying to explain everything and they wouldn't listen. They kept interrupting me. Throwing in words like 'premeditated'. They never gave me a chance to talk. But I was quite used to that by then. If you're one of the three 'bad' things in a bible belt, no one ever listens to you (gay/trans, mentally ill, and poor). High school was miserable because of the staff, not the students. That is pretty sad, if you ask me.
I was sent to an alternative school. Which was worse. I think it broke my mom's heart seeing the way I'd come home. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had I stayed there. Of course, they treat you like criminals there. Doesn't matter why you're there. There was one teacher that didn't. My English teacher. She actually treated me very well. Suppose it helped that it was my best subject. But if you want to know the torture an alternative school is... think about how they treat kindergartners. Some of the teachers treated us like that. Then others treated us like we were all toughened criminals destined for prison. I just gave up. I would come home every day either crying or so angry that... I just ended up dropping out.
College is much better, to a point. It's stressful. Some days I want to rip my hair out from the stress. But the instructors/professors are MUCH better. Of course, it's a college. I'm sure they have stricter regulations than your average public school. Most of the students are more mature. Overall, much better experience.
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God, we sound alike. I was NEVER bullied by students (luckily) but I was endlessly harassed by the staff. I was sexually assaulted in high school by a boy, and when I reported it in tears, shaking, the Dean asked me "what were you wearing?" not "we will protect you" or "we will get him kicked out". Nope. I GOT PUNISHED FOR IT. We BOTH had ISS. I had to spend a whole day locked in a little room with a boy who wanted to do worse than sexually assault me.
I was given endless detentions and ISS' because I just couldn't attend classes. I would lock myself in a bathroom stall and cry. I'd hide in the library. I could never breathe. They decided to, illegally mind, call me into a meeting without parent representation where the principle told me its all a bit "funny" and "ironic" that I have these anxiety attacks perfectly "timed". You idiot, I had anxiety WITH CERTAIN CLASSES. I said I wasn't speaking without a parent, and I was forced into detention.
My parents came in the next time and till this day I regret it, but I asked my mom not to say anything. I was just so tired and done at this point that I wished they'd get rid of me. And they finally did.
I had a suicide attempt shortly there after. I ended up in a residential treatment place for depression where they let me do some school work. But when I got home, the alternative school was...weird. I didn't hate it. I didn't like it. To be honest, I don't even remember 99% of it. And that's fine by me.