I don't understand what is wrong with me asking my brother for help putting groceries away when he is just sitting on the computer and plays video games all day.

I have asked for help in these situations with him before. I would like to see what others approaches would be around someone that gets upset easily.

I would like to talk to him about it but I feel like I would be let into drama; which the best choice most likely would be to disengage. I want to ask "I don't understand what is wrong with me asking for help?" or say "I see that you get irritated when I ask for help; I don't understand the problem here, how can we resolve this so that I would not get yelled at?"

He most likely would tell me because you are *****y. He goes off every time and says because I'm tired of your *****ing. Then I do get upset and you can tell I'm irritated in my voice. I don't yell unless his yelling continues; I admit then my voice turns into yelling. Which I forgive myself because it is only human for that to happen around someone angry. I need to let my mind realize it's not me it's him. (Be in the present)

Next time I'm thinking of asking for help and stay as calm as can be. I will work on taking deep breathes and then ask one those questions up above. Or like I have said before maybe take a confrontational approach and best prepare myself so I do stay more calm and see what his point of view is, why he goes off. Tell him that "I feel frustrated when you start yelling at me when I ask for help. I do not like it I feel uncomfortable and want this to be resolved." If he goes off then I'll tell him. "No, I feel it is better to discuss issues that involve close people so they can be resolved." Then if he continues. Let him yell and then walk away after he is done and say "I do care about you though we can talk more about this later, I see you are angry."

I just thought of another thing to say: If I do start yelling because I feel frustrated around the destructive behavior I will say "Oh man, now I'm yelling, we can talk more about this later" then disengage. I think it would be better so it won't lead to a bad argument.