don't be sorry about posting. it's okay.

i hope you find a line of some description you can talk too before things get out of hand for you.

the meds thing is difficult, i know it is.. the feeling that you need them to function, but their are others..... those ones didn't work for you, that's fine. but maybe try some diffrent ones. maybe you just need the right ones to get you started, and then who knows.. if it all goes well, you'll start feeling a lot better- and that would be great