Some of you may know that I had a couple of stroke scares last month before Christmas. My MD put me on all the proper meds to keep a real stroke from happening. Today, she had me have x-rays of my neck taken, but I don't know what she was looking for. On Jan 26, I have an ultra-sound scheduled for a "duplex" scan of the carotid and vertebral arteries. The an MRI of my brain. She's also ordered the cardiologist's records of what he had done some yrs ago.

She also told me to get into my oculist ASAP and have my eyes tested. Funny how I received a reminder from him last week.

Now I feel like I'm in business! Can't get those tests done soon enough, though!

Strange thing... last night I started getting anxious and saying to myself "I don't want to go!!!!" Don't know why, but it just IRKS me to HAVE to take a shower and get cleaned up TO GO OUT! What's that all about??

Jerry's been wanting me to give him the go ahead to tell all the kids what's been going on with me, but I've refused. First and above all, I don't want their pity and I SURE don't want the two that don't talk to me now to feel as if they HAVE to start talking to me. If they are getting along fine without me and their conscience isn't bothering them, then that's on them. Not me! If I receive love, affection and respect, I want it to be given freely from the heart! Then I know it's sincere.

Jerry says that the kids have a right to know. I agree... when there is something definite to know. But there will still be NO DEATHBED reconciliations! "If you love me, tell me NOW! Not when I'm dead and buried."

WHEW! Thanks for letting me rant and ramble.