This is my second utterly pointless thread in a few days. I'm sorry, I just want to put it down here..

Right now, I'm shaking and shaking with fear. I don't even know what I'm anxious about. I'm in my flat by myself, but I usually like my own company. Last night I was just so overwhelmingly lonely but today I've seen friends, am seeing them later again, and have a phone call to catch up with a relative in half an hour, so it's not like I'm isolated or anything. I don't understand what is wrong with me, I can't seem to get a grip. It's not a crisis so I don't want to call my therapist. I know I can if I want to, but the waiting for her to call back will make me more edgy, I think. Last night I engaged in old destructive behavior and then took two diazapam to try to numb the desperation, and then finally called a number for people in distress. I felt better this morning, and I just keep telling myself I'm fine, everything's okay...but I don't really feel okay now again. I just don't know WHY. Jesus. I guess what I'm asking is, what do you do for those times when you are feeling shaky but it's not an outright emergency? Do you contact your therapist or not? I'm not saying there's one universal rule, I know it's different for us all, but I can't judge when I should or shouldn't ask for support.

Urgh, sorry for the ramble