I keep seeing Jade my 16 year old sister.. (She died on 23rd September 2013) I see her in her bridesmaid dress that she was at my wedding in August.. I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.. She tells me to come with her, she tells me to overdose or kill myself by hanging myself..She said she alone up there, I tell her that she got nan and grandad but cos she wasn't born when they died she doesn't know them.. So she keeps coming to me and asking me to die so she can be with me.. She said I just gotta go towards the light and she will help me the rest, she said that what happened when she died.. Our grandparents were waiting for her..

It hurts to much to be without her and I can't live without her.. I can't cry cos I keep pushing it inside and I am always angry and punching things and hurting myself..

I feel so alone..