Im sorry to hear you are struggling so much at the moment. I have been there - when it just doesn't seem to matter any more. When it is easier to just give in. But I have seen the other side too. The side where you don't have to worry about new scars, where the triggers aren't as common or intense. Where those feelings of numbness aren't always there and you can feel other things. It is a fight - it's a struggle every day, especially at first, but in time it gets easier. In time and with the support you can get there and maybe find that sanity again .

Also, I have to say 2 days is a great achievement Take it a day at a time, or even an hour or minute at a time if you need to. You can get through this And if you fall, that's ok too - we all do at times. Maybe start with a challenge to 'outlast' your highest. So if you fall today, try and aim for 3 days from tomorrow and then 4 after that. Setting goals can be extremely helpful, especially when you are this triggered if stopping outright is just too difficult