I am having delusional thoughts and highly energetic at times. Took 20 mg of saphris last night after meeting with a doctor yesterday morning. It got worse as the day went on, been that way for the past 3-4 days. Went out to a party last night and thought in a way I was talking to death. I listen for key words in what people say. Even in one case someone said Santa Clause and Jesus in the same sentence and that's when I was like WTF. Last time I was psychotic I thought I was both of them. I believe media can talk directly to me sometimes. I'm on depakote, been taking that for a while to prevent mania. Just started the anti-psychotic. I don't want to lose control like last time and spend 8 months getting right.

At this moment I'm feeling somewhat stable, just a little restless. Sleeping has helped, it seems to reset my thought process. I have highs during the day where I get lost in thought. I'm just want to be well and want to sleep it all away. I can't handle that many thoughts and connecting things that although make sense to me in a way, don't make sense in reality. How can I help myself?