Growli, I think the fact that you're having flashbacks, etc, is to be expected, and ultimately, a good thing. Not pleasant, for sure, but a step toward getting out what needs to come out so you won't turn on yourself.

I don't think transference necessarily correlates with "logical" factors like age or length of time you've known the T. You've shared intense emotional experiences with this T, much the way strangers who share a crisis situation often deeply bond. There's also a kind of transference that is referred to as a "hopeful" transference: rather than project the negative expectations from past experience, it's about projecting the hope of a positive experience. This was more my experience, and perhaps it's yours, too. But don't forget that at the end of this program, you will be experiencing yourself and your emotions differently than you do now. Don't project distorted thinking into the mix.

Definitely tell your T. I seriously doubt it will throw her as it must be common in residential type situations. You may find that sharing it with her may ease the anger/panic you feel when you experience a lapse in her attention. Since the relationship is time limited because it's a residential program, I doubt she will distance herself because of your feelings.