I have severe anxiety (GAD and generalized social phobia), major depression, ADHD-PI and probably dysthymia. I can dream of aspirations (being a veteran and scientist or engineer), yet I can't do the simplest of things to achieve them. I don't have the motivation to do school work. I don't know how to apply for a job and I don't have the motivation to find out how. I have zero confidence. I feel like a zombie. Like I'm dead, dreaming, unreal or something. My anxiety makes me feel crazy. I don't know how I will be able to feel well. I haven't even gotten my diploma yet and I was supposed to graduate last year. I was thinking about joining the military but I need a diploma for that so I can't even do that... I'm afraid I'll end up being a homeless bum. I don't have parents and I can't live with my grandma forever. I don't want to live here much longer. I should be grateful she took me in instead of me going into foster homes, but I feel miserable. I want to be better but I won't and I feel like spiraling until I die. I've been on Remeron for two months. I started taking 30mg every night about three weeks ago, but I still feel depressed and anxious. Actually I probably feel worse. I feel empty nothingness. It's unbearable.