I've been a hyphchondriac since I was little. I actually think that in my head, I know that deep down I'm probably exaggerating the severity of all illnesses, but I still can't help but be paranoid. I'm writing about this now because I've been in a panic mode all day. I met a lady several weeks ago (a customer) and every now and then we get to talking. Well, today she happened to mention that years ago doctors found out that she had a brain tumor. After two surgeries, they sent her home and told her parents to enjoy the time they could with her. Luckily, that was nearly 10 years ago. She still has the tumor, but there is no sign of activity in it. After hearing this story, I've been tense, moody, and paranoid all day. My heart's racing and my muscles are tightened. I thought I was a little better than when I was little, but today everything just overwhelmed me. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I remember watching the news one night during summer vacation. They were talking about a flesh eating disease (which is extremely rare) and I spent that whole summer begging my family to reassure me that it wouldn't happen to one of us. I couldn't sleep, I cried, I made my parents and sister do research on it. I think I'm more afraid that something bad will happen to someone I love... but also me too. If anyone tells me they have a headache or even if I do (which is a lot) I'm terrified that it's not just a headache, it might be a brain aneurism. These are just a few examples of what I live with everyday. It's so exhausting... I don't really know how I get through each day being me. It's ok if anyone thinks I'm crazy, I feel that way. You have no idea how terrified I am that something might happen now that I've written this.
Sorry for the long rant.
Anyone have any comforting words? I REALLY need some.