I went for years using food and cigarettes to stop myself cutting, but gave in around a year ago.
It's been sporadic, but then recently it's been awful I think about it constantly and do it every few days.
It's worse while I'm changing my meds over and I've talked to psych about it and he basically says I have to 'ride it out' a fat lot of good that is.

Also there's the issue of my mother. I *cant* lie to her or keep things from her (it makes me physically vomit, I've no idea why) but the look on her face when she realises what I've done kills me inside. I don't know what to do.

I gave in tonight and knowing that tomorrow I'll have to face her just makes me die inside. It makes me feel even worse and like I need to do it again but that makes no sense.

I just don't know what to do.