Wow, I'm so sorry for all your losses. I think given what you've been through lately, it's perfectly natural to be obsessed with death!

As you're finding out, meds only go so far. Do you see a therapist? Talking about it can really help. A therapist can help redirect your thoughts and help you through the grief process. He or she also might be able to recommend support groups in your area. I know there is a group for parents of murdered children, but not sure if that one extends to the whole family.

I wish you peace.

Candy