Hi Deppressedgirl.

You sound very young. Maybee 15 to 17 years old?
Anyway, I think you should(for your long term health) take a break from guys. At your age(I've been there too) you should have a freedom to explorer relationships without this kind of drama.

I'm a guy( I know we are hard work sometimes), but try and stick to supportive female company for a while. Don't end up pregnant to a guy who is wrong for you.

Sex can be a wonderful thing, but the way you descibe it sounds horrible. Be yourself, there is no hurry to grow up.

Just take a break from all this pressure. You will meet someone who deserves it later when you least expect and you are ready.

Steve