I think for a long time I've been dealing with self esteem issues. when i was younger it was more centered on appearance. i had acne that drove me to hopelessness... but I got over that.

i guess when you're young there's a lot of stuff you're uncomfortable with that you can outgrow... but for example: last friday I texted some friends to see what was up, and when they didnt respond after awhile... i start thinking "they really don't like me", "they think i'm weird, and unlikeable".

sometimes at work I'll walk by co-workers and have no idea to what to say, and mutter something, and think "that was stupid. they wont like me now".

i spend a lot of time on the computer listening to music and browsing facebook. i spend some time doing creative things, but Idk...

i don't want to ask girls out, because usually i think i've already turned them off (which is probably untrue in some cases), or think i'm just not a worthwhile person they would ever want to go places with. not only that, even if i did, i think it's going to be stressful and anxiety provoking to plan and do something, and i wont enjoy myself. so i usually avoid the whole asking out thing all together.

those are some of the things that i've been locked in, that repeat almost everyday.

I believe I'm a quite friendly, good, kind, person it just so happens I don't think very much of myself all the time.

I've found changing negative(untrue) thoughts to positive ones to help.
I've found engaging in my hobbies of (drawing, djy'ing, skateboarding) anyhting that involves progression to be worthwhile, and make me feel better about myself.
I've found volunteering to be a great thing to help

But it always feels like i have to work really hard, or maybe just get motivated and be persistent to really feel better. i have to work at it. i can't just say I'm happy with myself. does anyone else feel that way?