I met my lovely husband before I realised I had PTSD, and we were together for four years before I started remembering stuff that happened in adulthood and then in childhood. So my story is a little different.

I'm not sure PTSD can be got rid of altogether. I don't believe it's impossible. Either way, I think it's possible to undergo real healing and live a more contented life, if you can process the trauma and grieve your losses. (I haven't done these things yet, but I hope to.)

I would recommend therapy or counselling. I would also recommend the following books, some from first-hand experience and some because others speak highly of them:

Resurrection After Rape - Healing from sexual assault trauma (you can download this free, I've read a bit of it and it seems really good)

The Courage To Heal: A Guide For Women Survivors Of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis (I haven't read this but many people recommend it)

Dear Sexual Abuse Survivor: This is the guide I wish someone had written for me by Sylvia Fraser (I've started this and it seems good so far)

Can I ask if you think any of the fear is coming from the guy you're seeing? Do you feel happy about how the relationship is going? It's hard to answer without knowing this.

I'm sorry for the harm that was done to you.