Coma,
Thank you very much for those kind words I have few friends who are very sweet and encouraging to me - but even them, I am not talking to much because of my lover (lets call him L). He keeps asking what relationship I have with my male friends and if I say just friends, he laughs. It seems that all are my enemies here. So many people have said mean, terrible things about me to him and even advised him to leave me He constantly asks where I am and I have to send him pictures of what I am doing, etc.

Everything just worries me so much. I am not able to socialize, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I am constantly crying.

But even my ex was similar - just a toned down version of L.

It kinda makes me think that all this love and respect is bull**** and all guys are just the same. I can't move from what I have done in the past and I fear I am damaged as I am no longer a virgin. And need to accept that this is how any guy I end up with, will treat me

I am human,
Yes no one is perfect - but it seems to me that all guys do want one perfect girl and to be honest, I sort of feel worthless - that I am after all touched by people other than my husband