i really do know how you feel. my daughter is 6 and my husband is just now realizing what my problems are and really helping me. at first we all thought it was a deep deep depression. i would be ok 1 minute and then scream, cuss, throw things, hit walls, you name it. i ended up in psych's office and was diagnosed with bipolar and major depression. i also affected my child- she now sees a child psychologist and is on a mild antidepressant. i deal with that guilt of pushing her but even at a young age, she know mommy was sick and wanted to take care of me. my advice is to see your dr. explain not just crying and depression but the"up" of mania and no sleepin(been 24 to 36 hr. no sleep and i never missed it).they need to know it all.ask your husband to go and that may help him to understand you and know how to help. believe me- it gets worse w/out med. that sometimes takes a while to fing the right kind. after 6 months we have 1 mood stabilizer that works and still trying to find the other right one. hang in there. get professional help and explain to your hus. that it's not just a fit you are sick just like someone with diabetes but can be treated. you need family and friends now. your in my prayers and thoughts.