I have a habit that has followed me into my adult life from my childhood. Sorry. I guess you need a little background. My mom's Crazy Aunt tried to kill her when she was six. This is terrible. As a result people with Mental Illness scare her. When I was six or seven I started having symptoms of bipolar. My mom did not intentionally hurt me, but she would freeze and leave whenever I was weird or worse. I thought I was a monster if even my mom was afraid of me. These were the times I needed her most. To cope I started apologizing to her in hopes of keeping her in the room. Now whenever I feel uncomfortable or afraid I apologize. I've been trying to break this habit for over a decade. It feels like it is so instantaneous that I have no control. Each time I say sorry inappropriately I am getting a flashback of abandonment. I don't know how to fix this. I want to type sorry now. Sorry.

p.s. The words Crazy and weird are my moms in this case. Those are the words she used to describe the situation to me. It's not to offend anyone.