Thanks tinyrabbit, I think some of it could be from the guy that I'm seeing - I feel like the relationship isn't as mutual as I wish it would be, and my feelings for him are a lot stronger than his for mine. I think I'm scared most for loving and losing, to let him into my life, and not know if he's to stay. I'm not sure how I would be able to emotionally handle that - thanks so much for the book recommendations. I definitely will look at them. I didn't remember my experiences until a while after, as well, but may I ask, how did your memories affect your relationship with your husband? And how is it now? I have hope, but sometimes I'm just so afraid of the unknown, and letting someone truly know me.