long after my 'symptoms' had freaked out all my friends, and alienated most of my family, i realized that there was a time when i felt the same way about myself. i grew up in a culture that didn't accept brain disorders, but marginalized people who had them, and avoided understanding and acceptance. i did this to myself when i became severely disabled, having no skills to compensate, no understanding of what had happened to me, i just wished i was dead all the time.

that day is past, my friends are still gone, my family is still alienated, i still hold a grudge that all this happened to me. but gradually i am coming to terms with my life, letting go of old resentments, and fears, finding a lifestyle that is very minimal, and being OK with that. it's hard.

i hope you are fortunate enough to keep a few of the people who love you, for who you are, not for what you can do. and i hope you find a way to accept this new life as long as it lasts, better yet, find a way to overcome. life goes on, and bad things happen. remember to focus on the good.

best wishes~
Gus