I'm soory that you post was missed for those hours... when you needed support.

It does get easier... grief takes it's own time... you will grieve sooner or later... perhaps you are afraid to let it out? Maybe you fear if you let it out you won't regain control?

Why not set a day to think about your Dad and all that... someplace special, someplace you can allow your deep feelings... and allow yourself to grieve more?

I often went to my Dad's grave. My just recently passed Figaro (dog) would lie down and then poo on the grave, and I'd tell him some things...and we'd leave. It was a process...

tc