I have been in a really rough patch lately.

Diagnosed in Sept as Bipolar II, after 2 years of struggling. Weaning off Effexor since June (I'll be done in 3 weeks!), about 1 week into Lamotrigine. I'm currently in a mixed state and really, am just hoping to surface soon, because I can't do this much longer.

I get hypo and make plans with friends, and then crash and can't stop crying or get out of bed. My friendships have really suffered, and as much as I want to have friends, it just seems like so much work.

Conversely, my wonderful, stoic, supportive boyfriend has a solid group of buds. And they're going out for a boys weekend next weekend. And I just feel so... defective. And alone. And why would he be dating such a loser who doesn't even have anyone in her life besides him. And I just can't stop counting the people who I consider real "friends", and the number is so low.

I don't know. I'm just feeling so lost right now.