A few weeks ago a "friend" who has been friend/lover on and off depending how the mood takes him, spent 2 weeks in our area. As we live very far apart, the 2 weeks was wonderful.We saw each other daily, and built up a relationship which we were not able to do over the past few years living so far apart.We were also physically intimate.

After he had left he told me how things would never be the same again, and how we had moved to a different level in our relationship.It was not ONE day later, and he changed completely.

All the warmth, affection etc vanished overnight.Whereas we had shared daily chats and details about all sorts of odds and ends, he started avoiding my calls, ignoring messages.You van imagine how distraught I felt...after the closeness and emotional and physical intimacy, he had gone cold.The more I have tried to find out what happened, what changed, the worse it has become.He has shut me off with the silent treatment and has refused to talk to me about what is going on that he has changed so.

I feel that I have every right to know what has happened- from him promising me we would never go back to just friends, to shutting me off totally.I cant process it.He then called me "crazy obsessed" and said if I wanted any relationship with him it would be friends, and I must just accept that.

The more I have tried to find out what happened, it seems to me the more he has enjoyed watching me squirm and ignoring me.I can't understand why someone would do that to another human, especially when they had claimed to have such strong feelings for them a few weeks ago?Why?

I am sure I will never get answers so I have just stopped trying to contact him, and it has been 3 days since he spoke to me.I will not contact him first.The thing is that I know he is "waiting for me to calm down" before he re- appears.I can never win...any time I ask a question I am told I ask too many questions and it is tiresome or I am just ignored.

I am left feeling as if the rug has been pulled out from me because I feel my judgement was all off - clearly he never felt anything when he was here, and for some reason made it all up.Now he is avoiding any confrontation(any disagreement of opinion he calls "fighting")....yet the more he does that the more I want answers and so he keeps quiet.

I just don't know what happened or what to do.It hurts a lot.