Septie, I hear you and for a moment there I got scared. Iteresting that my first thought is that, that might trigger people but Its me that it might trigger. "The have to" part although you are just making a request. Hard to face some things and even harder to post it. Some things are easy and some are not. But here goes.
Realizing that how much of my depression, bi-polar, anxiety, Ptsd , is really undiagnosed grief and trauma on trauma, on trauma. Everytime someone infers that why am I not getting bettter, whats wrong with me, retriggers me. No matter how much confidence and self- esteem I build all it takes is a criticism to have it all fall apart. The cristicism is from my family and is never out of my head. Realising that, that is never going to change and it is time to move on. Realising also that although I was raised in a white family, white community, with white values how much I had internallised about my Indian heritage. Realising that although the stuff I have read seemed to be from others past, books, movies, etc how much it impacts my life today because of its impact on my mother, her mother, and my kids.