Hi Miss, I feel that if you live in fear of LIFE, losing people, no one liking you then you are wasting your precious time or what most people refer to as life.
I do not know why you are insecure about yourself and the future. A falling out with family members seems only to be a small part of the big picture. You have to realize that people we love die, or get sick and once again that is part of life. Like I said before you are wasting precious time worrying about what may happen. Live today!!!
Maybe it is possible to be closer to the friends you see once a month. But I am thinking your attitude might need a little adjustment. Put a smile on your face and be positive. Always, and your friends will want to be around you.