Yea, since I've taken saphris I've been feeling really eager to do something. I use to be in class, but now that's over. Today I'm painting my room a new color. The anti-psychotics kicked in for the most part. What is hard is the sleeping, getting to bed and then getting out. I seem to wake up throughout the night after every dream, then in the morning it is hard to get out of bed, more than usual.

Managing delusions and mania is a hard task and at times I enjoy the psychotic state for what it can bring to the room and the connections I make and have a good time with. Other times is such a burden and it's like hoping I won't get any sicker. Don't want to end up back in a hospital. Mental illness is so interesting I don't think any psych really has a way to explain what is happening other than your symptomatic. Like why do we believe and act out certain things especially when they seem to make sense at the time?

I want to know the answers, I want just the right amount of mania and psychotic delusions to become very productive at what I do, that being radio and communications. I don't like telling docs about this because they fear what they don't understand so it's easier for them to lock me up.