Quote:
Originally Posted by jacq10
(((((Maggy)))))
I understand what you are saying about wanting someone to mother you, honest I do. Unfortunately, that's not the role of your T. Your T is there to help you work through and process those feelings, but not to be your mother. Have you talked to her about how you feel? That can be very therapeutic. If you have, and nothing seems to have resolved, it might be worth looking for another T. I know that might be hard to hear, but if your feelings toward your current T are holding you back from working on things, then it indeed might not be very helpful.
Hugs,
Jacq
|
I disagree. To some extent it [I]is[\I] your T's job to mother you. Of course as you already know, she can't mother you in all the ways you want to be mothered. But she is supposed to give you that unconditional positive regard, the secure attachment, the place to be your small vulnerable self and have it honoured. That includes honouring your sadness that she can't be your mother in all the other ways you'd like. And she must be very gentle with those feelings because it is tragic for you that you missed out on something very crucial early on.
I think Jacq & Tiny Rabbit are onto something: maybe you need to be clearer about your needs and feelings. If you have been clear and she won't work with you on that level, it might be worth considering getting another T. Not becuse your feelings for her are holding you back but rather because her unwillingness to engage with you is.