I know what you mean, so clearly. I've been this way all of my life and I'm 54 now. Sabotaging my relationships, nearly all of them...my son and ex husband are pretty much the only people I talk to besides you all here. My ex is infuriatingly 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' kind of person, but my son understands a bit more. He's had feelings much like mine in the past and I think he probably is BPD as well.....he was dx's with ADHD when he was in 1st grade, and consiquently hates all therapists now, and is not on medication. He's pretty well put together at the moment but his emotions go wonkey too sometimes.

I'm just so grateful I found a place to talk to people who are feeling what I'm feeling...particularly now, with my job ending (terrified!!) and breaking up with my bf (which was shattering to my self-esteem on so many levels)....I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you all. My T is fine but sometimes I just don't think she gets it. Even if she DOES get it. If that makes any sense.