I had a series of deaths happen to me including the murder of an ex boyfriend and a boyfriend who commited suicide. Its interesting that the suicide death does not bother me. Because for that one I accually took a course offered through "Victims of Violence" who stayed with me while the police were informing me what had happened. It works. I was with a small group of others who were going throught the same thing. A lot of talking, sharing, crying and healing slowly over two weekends. The one thing I remember is how much it all takes out of you. You are exhausted and need to really take care of yourself. I didn't know what that meant. But over time came to realise that was to love and honour myself and not beat up myself, lots of extra sleep. Could you find a support group for something like that near you? This is a good support group here online but you might need more.