There are some good thoughts here, thank you. I do understand the need to move on and begin to work on triggers. I guess my concern right now is that C came at things very backward. She began with telling Naomi aren't you glad that it is all over with, that it's all past and your life is good now---then as Naomi told her that it was true thing were good now, but she was hurting and remembering some bad things that happened and had a new painful memory.....then C told her that she wasn't maimed or crippled or in some way permanently damaged and there were no scars etc....then told her of a client who was blinded in one eye by scalding water thrown by a parent. and said to her "this person will have to live with this the rest of her life as a reminder....you haven't been maimed or scared."

Ok, that was a big trigger as mother always said "you have nothing to be sad or upset about, there is always someone worse off...." and "thank God you aren't crippled or hurt or something...." "be grateful i didn't k*ll you"

then came the speel on breathing and watching funny movies or reading a book to get out of the moment. Yes, grounding is important, but LISTENING and helping Naomi walk thru the pain and the memories first and then help her to ground.....

C has done this several times. Not listened, not met us where we are at and helped us thru a memory.

It's not just the triggers, tho we have told her about how she says so many things mother has said to us....it's that she doesn't seem to hear the pain....and if she starts to work with anyone on a plan of coping, she doesn't continue that course of therapy. Seems to us she is just tired of us or that we are too high maintanance for her.