It does sound like she is frightened. That's not your fault, and as therapists we need to experience the fear of the client to understand what happened to them. However, if she doesn't understand that she will (especially when working with Trauma) experience powerful feelings projected into her by the client, then she is likely to identify with them and feel the client is a threat to her - make the feelings of the client her own rather than know she is experiencing something for the client. We call this projective identification - it may be that your therapist really experienced your terror whilst you were dissociating - and thought it was her fear, that you were dangerous. I have heard it so many times and it never ends well for the client who will inevitably end up being blamed. An experienced therapist, who understands counter transference ( what they are feeling that is coming from the client), and has developed the ability to decode it, to use themselves and their feelings whilst with the client, to really understand the client's experience, will not be as likely to turn on their client and terminate when they feel the fear.

I am so sorry this happened to you. You must really hold on that you did nothing wrong. What she has done is very wrong. To terminate in such a sudden way and by phone is cruel. In my experience, when a therapist falls into such a fearful place they lose all empathy. If you are going to talk to her please be sure you are strong enough. I would recommend you tape it for your safety and that you have someone there to support you. Do not expect reparation if she has not got herself out if that place of fear. I think she won't see you face to face because she is frightened of you - that's how powerful it is. That's how afraid you were - but she appears to have fallen into the fear rather than to be able to really use it to help you.

I hope you can find someone who is experienced - and experience isn't about doing an additional course, it's about really being able to be with a client in their agony and terror, to be able to feel what it is like without succumbing to the material we are dealing with. Your therapist doesn't sound like she has the ability to do that. I doubt she has done enough work on herself either to know what it feels like to be so vulnerable in the client's seat.

Be careful in choosing, interview prospective therapists, test them out a little with your questions, be curious about their experience and the work they have done on themselves - a therapist who 'knows' will be happy to answer those questions. If they say they work with Trauma ask what enables them to do that, if they understand and work with the transference/counter transference, enquire about the experience of their supervisor, the support they have for themselves to keep their practice safe - do all you can to be safe next time.

Moon