Due to my machine acting up I never got back here. Too bad. I have been going through a lot of these. I know it has to do with an abusive stepmother and my dad not knowing about it or not caring. I have finnally confronted him with some of this but He either doesn't remember or chooses not to. The trauma is that he has ignored what happened and why don't I get on with my life? Each time I get triggered its like the whole family gets to affirm that there is something wrong with me and I go crazy.I think I have spent the majority of my life defending or validating myself. I am like a dog with a bone I can't let go. I am constantly explaining myself and trying to find answers why? I am getting the why but grieving it is the tough part especially when I have buried a lot and can't feel it to get through it.